Sawadee Pee Mai (Merry Christmas!)

In Thailand, everyone knows it is Christmas, but it is not really celebrated. There are decorations around, but mostly for the tourists and visitors. The Thais get more excited about the New Year.

I decorated the dining room table with a fold out Christmas tree, tacky garland and Santa pictures. I had one gift for each person and Molly played Christmas music on her ipod. We had another huge breakfast and within half an hour our celebration was over. But we had a busy day ahead.

Molly and Cookie made the famous and popular “no-bake” cookies and covered them in red and green M&Ms. Zach, Noel and I borrowed motorcycles and headed out on a ride. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. Zach kept telling me to get on the right side of the road (the wrong side, or different side, but not what I was used to). I couldn’t find the blinkers for turning, but Noel said nobody uses them anyways. It was hard for me to remember how to shift and the brakes didn’t really work. I did find the horn though and I used that a lot. Since everyone stared at us as outsiders from another planet, I just honked and waved and smiled, getting the same in return. We all returned in one piece.

We had all been invited to lunch at Nee’s cousin Gunika’s home. Even though we had just had breakfast, we went to have lunch and meet more family and see the house being built by Gunika and her husband. This new house is huge. Maybe 8,000 square feet….a swimming pool in back and pools in front for lotus and koi. The hallways are very wide, there are 4 sets of stairways, it is very open and airy, but of course, they don’t have to worry about a heating bill. Rooms have individual air conditioners, and the halls and open areas tend to be warm. I hope I get back to see the finished product. Gunika and I talked about an arranged marriage between her daughter, Aim and Zach. We laughed and joked and developed a perfect plan.

Nee and Gunika arranged for us to ride mopeds in the afternoon and head back to the elephant village area to watch the elephants have their afternoon baths. I actually got back on a mellow, female elephant and rode her into the lake! I went up and down in the water with her, nearly slipped off a couple times and waited for her to spray me with water, but she never did. We fed the creatures sugar cane and watermelon after their baths and talked about bringing an elephant home for a pet. Cookies family had tried to buy an elephant twice. The first deal they backed out of after the elephant killed the trainer. The second elephant got into a pile of rice and ate so much he died before the deal was sealed. Too much work in elephants.

To wrap up our Christmas, we went to a restaurant for karaoke. Hesitant, it is a popular local activity, so we all went along with it. Cookie and her dad are both really good singers, so of course they are comfortable getting up on stage. I finally succumbed to coercion and sang with Cookie and then her dad wanted me to sing a Frank Sinatra song with him……argh…..I hadn’t even had any wine! I figured I had nothing to lose (except my dignity). Zach and Noel got up and sang an old Creedence Clearwater song and a Beach Boys song. Such talent. It was hysterical. We ended the evening by singing Jingle Bells and We Wish you a Merry Christmas.

I have had two new experiences today which I may never do again: elephant bathing and karaoke.

Elephant Village

We got up early to get to the local Elephant Village and show. I was crossing my fingers to get the opportunity to ride an elephant, regardless of the book I had just finished called The Elephant Suite……people getting stomped to death by angry elephants.

This is how Nee and Cookie make things happen: as we get closer to the village, we start passing men and boys riding elephants alongside the road on their way to participate in the show. We were thrilled just to see these massively huge creatures so close. Nee pulls over the car, a lot of Thai is spoken and she tells us the men will give us rides into the village. Wow. I throw Cookie the camera, grab my hat and we are ready to go.

Zach is first. The elephant sits in the soil, then goes down on his front feet and Zach manages to climb aboard. Noel seems to get on easy, until the elephant lurches up and I can see the look of panic in this face momentarily, until he settles in. Molly is a bit chicken at first, but she also knows she might not get another chance, so she gracefully straddles the beast and takes a couple model photo shots in between little screams. I struggle to get on my elephant……Nee pushes, the owner pulls, I climb on the elephants legs, I try to throw my leg over the top. I am laughing so hard I almost wet my pants. Cookie is documenting the whole humbling moment. I finally get on, but I am pretty sure I pulled a muscle in my thigh.

So, riding a horse stretches your leg muscles. Riding an elephant really stretches your legs. It was so exciting….imagine, being in Thailand, riding an elephant! Zach has added elephants to the list of things he is allergic to. His poor legs immediately broke out in hives.

The elephant show was great. We were the only white people in the crowd, it was mostly Thai school children from neighboring provinces. The elephants did tricks; balanced on stools, painted pictures, played soccer, stood on their hind legs and did the hula hoop. Noel and I were picked to lay on the ground and get back massages by the elephants. Molly got lifted up by an elephant trunk and carried around the arena. The school kids thought we were silly. We thought we were silly. Nee and Cookies surely thought we were silly.

That night we all went out to a restaurant for dinner and Cookies extended family joined us along with a couple cousins. We went to a Chinese festival and met more cousins…..everywhere we go, we meet more cousins. I wanted another massage, to heal my poor pulled thigh muscle. Zach refused, as his elephant hives were too gross.

Lost Photos

I can’t believe it, but yes, I deleted a whole day of pictures……a traveling mishap of the worst kind…..good thing it wasn’t the whole Thailand trip! Nee offered to take us around to relive the lost day, but I knew the kids would never agree to repeat our travels and stage our photo shoots…..Pictures lost, but not the memories.

We had pictures of the following highlights, that I can not replicate:
· Picking out fabric for Zach’s first suit
· Silk making at local village
· Dying of silk thread
· The tiniest kitten in the world
· Thai Thai climbing in the doorway
· Tin Tin doing the splits

Regardless of loosing the pictures, it was fun being introduced to Surin by Cookie and her mom. They are great at making things happen and planning all the arrangements that make traveling so challenging for a visitor.

We all drove to this place in the countryside where they produce some of the nicest silk in the world. Nice enough to supply Bill Gates and his new home on Lake Washington. Here, they but the silk thread from local village people. They dye it in big boiling pots, using different natural vegetation for color source. They have large covered floors where women work eight hours a day passing thread through the loom to make a pattern. In eight hours, they produce a few inches of silk fabric. Nee had the boys each pick out a tie and Molly and I picked out a scarf. We will enjoy these gifts from Surin.

The country roads are so fun to drive around on. You can see how other families live and the feel the flavor of the culture. Dogs wander around, lay in the streets, under cars, in the shade…..chickens graze freely on whatever is near and occasionally dart across the roads with their babies. Once in awhile, you can spot an elephant in a field, a local man transporting some pile of something on their very small motorbike, truckloads of Buddhist monks, water buffalo and strange, long eared cow are everywhere, sometimes coming up out of a ditch. Temples too, lots of temples.

The Thais drive crazy, a t least by my standards. First, they are on the WRONG side of the road. Second, dividing lines mean nothing. If there is room to pass between oncoming traffic, it is done. Mopeds, tuk tuks and walkers often line the sides of the roads. There is a lot of honking going on. The honking here is more a quick warning than a byproduct of a short temper. I was shocked at Cookie’s aggressive behavior on the roads, as her personality is so calm and patient.

Nee likes to cook and is an expert at it. Extended family tend to drop by around the dinner hour. For dinner we had curries, rice, stir fries and fruit. We drink fruit juices, coconut milk (if you want) and lots of water. Nobody in the family drinks alcohol, coffee or soda. We Americans have a lot of vices.

Cookie, Nee, Thee, Tin Tin, Thai Thai

All of us, Zach, Noel, Molly, Cookie and I arrived at Cookie's parents home in Surin, Thailand in the early morning and promptly went to bed......we didn't see the town, house or hardly her parents until the next morning.....

Cookie's mother is Nee, her father is Thee. Her mother speaks very good English, her father smiles a lot......they live in a home they built and it houses themselves and their business operation which is rice wholesaling, if I understand it right. A big pile of paddy rice is outside and is often covered by pidgeons getting a little snack or the family dog, when he chooses to sleep on the top of the mound in the shade. They also have a white cockatiel. The extended family is all nearby, one son and his family and a daughter and her family. Tin Tin and Thai Thai are nicknames for Cookies' two nephews. Many cousins and relatives live in this small village outside of Surin and I am starting to think it is really a village of Cookie's family.

Their house is very big and kind of a Japanese style, with sliding doors and rice paper and bamboo. The four of us sleep upstairs in huge rooms and have a huge bathroom the size of my living room.....they have two maids and two gardeners. I explained to Nee that in America, that is not common unless families are very wealthy. Here, it is very common. The dining room and kitchen are huge. And the food......is plentiful and healthy and very good.....we are stuffed all the time with three regular meals....

We are treated so kindly. They have planned their days around whatever we want to do. If we want to go for a moped ride, they get us mopeds, if we want to go to a tailor, they find us a tailor, if we want a massage, they arrange a massage. The family is proud of their country and want to share it and be excellent hosts. They do an outstanding job of that.

I have definitely learned the benefits of traveling to a place where the family is ingrained in the local activities and opportunities. We have had the chance to do and see things that other tourists may never be able to do. It has really made me think about the generousity of this family and the country.

Massage Humor

Cookie and I work up a plan for our final day in Bangkok that involves less time in the van. Travelling taking into account 3 additional people is definitely more challenging than what I have been used to the last three months. I tend to go into the caretaker role trying to make sure everyone is happy instead of letting everybody fend for themselves…..however, I have to say this group is pretty easy going and agreeable and as long as they are fed often, they are great.

We did a Bangkok errand and picked up my tailored suit and dress. We went back to the King’s Palace so Zach and Noel could get an ounce of culture and see the Thai buildings and the Jade Buddha. The five of us took a tuk tuk to the market on Khoa Sung Road (or something like that) to go shopping (again).

But the best part of the day was getting a massage. All five of us, Cookie, Molly, Noel, Zach and I got massages all at once and all in the same room….actually, the boys on one side of the curtain and the girls on the other…….if you know the boys and their humor, you might imagine some of the lines being said:

· Don’t worry, it is not contagious
· I don’t want anybody touching my feet
· I’m ticklish
· I thought I was suppose to take my boxers off
· I am not afraid of physical contact
· The curry is kicking in
· I win the “white ass” award

I can’t say it was the most relaxing massage I have had in Thailand, but it sure was the most fun.

Risking our lives, we hired tuk tuks to take us across town to where we were going to go to some Thai Boxing that night. We found it was the only thing in Bangkok that wasn’t dirt cheap, so we decided to go to a nearby night market for dinner and shopping (again). When we walked into the market area, Molly and I perked back up and Noel and Zach had the “oh no, here we go again” look in their eyes. Needless to say, we skipped more shopping and just had a great dinner in the big hall food court with a half liter of beer.

Late this night, we all pack up our stuff at the Bangkok house and head to Surin, the town where Cookie lives with her parents in their real house. It is a 5 hour drive and we will get there at about 4 am. That is the benefit of a driver, for sure.

You Can't Judge a Book by the Cover

I woke up the Zach and Noel (the boys) around 10 so we could get going on our day…….we had all decided to go to Pattaya Beach, the closest beach to Bangkok. I wanted the boys to see the beautiful beaches of Thailand and have a relaxing, rest full day before starting the push to cram as much as possible into a 10 day trip on the other side of the world.

Because Bangkok is so hugely, grotesquely, awfully, disgustingly huge, AND the traffic is so nasty, annoyingly slow and congested, it took us over 2 hours to get there (man, I miss Bellingham traffic)…..It took another hour to catch a ferry to a nearby island, and another hour to find motorcycle drivers to drive us across the island to the beach. Fun though…….especially that motorcycle ride…..3 of us on one, making a parade up and over the steep hill to Sam Beach. By the time we arrived, it was 3:30.

Not nearly as beautiful as the beaches of Phuket and Krabi areas, but still warm water, hot sun and the luxury of walking in the sand and people watching. The guys made jokes about the European men in their speedos and the old grey haired men with their beautiful, young Thai girlfriends. I loved being back in the company of Zach and Noel, with their sharp wit and sarcasm.

Cookie took us to a beautiful seafood restaurant on the shores of Pattaya. We tried lots of different Thai foods including soft, small crab that Molly said were not “normal” crab. Although it looked like any other vegetable, Zach mistakenly ate a whole, dried, red pepper with his dish and I thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head. We gave him piles of rice, gallons of water and his throat and mouth still burned….he kept eating although he said all his taste buds had been fried. MaHa eats meals with us also. He eats a lot. I call him a garbage can and he laughs and scrapes the rest of the food onto his plate.

For the grand finally of the boys first day in Thailand, we all go to the Tiffany Show. The largest, most famous transvestite show in the country, exhibits the dancing talents of the top lady men around. The entire cast is men….I mean woman. Born man, but now woman. Half man, half woman. Beautiful woman with the most amazing bodies. The Tina Turner act was my favorite. Zach was scared to go to the bathroom because he didn’t know who would be in there. I think both boys will pay more attention to the pretty girls on the streets and will remember the Tiffany Show.